New Year's Evil
by Random42
Summary: It is new year’s eve 1999 and the gang has come across a prophecy that says the hellmouth will open. Mayhem ensues, but the results aren’t quite what everybody expected.


New Year's Evil

by Random

***

DISCLAIMER:  "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and all its characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox and the WB Network.  "One Before The Lights Go Out" written by Ginger, published by Warner Chappel Music Ltd.  "Only The Good Die Young" written by Billy Joel, published by Joelsongs (BMI).

DESCRIPTION:  It is new year's eve 1999 and the gang has come across a prophecy that says the hellmouth will open.  Mayhem ensues, but the results aren't quite what everybody expected.

FEEDBACK:  Would be greatly appreciated.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I _did _actually write this back in 1999, towards the end of season three.  So it's somewhat out of date…

SPOILERS:  Please!  This takes place in 1999!

***

_They say there's a heaven for those who will wait  
Some say it's better but I say it ain't  
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints  
The sinners are much more fun  
            "Only The Good Die Young," Billy Joel_

***

"I'm not liking this at all," Xander muttered as he looked at the wide array of weapons laid out on the library table.

The Sunnydale high school library had virtually been turned into an armory by the Slayer and her cohorts because of a very unsettling prophecy that they had come across just a week before.  First the prophecy had seemed like a minor inconvenience to all people involved, but as the translation slowly came together (the prophecy had been written by somebody with little talent and even less knowledge of Latin grammar) they became aware of the impending threat's magnitude.

Strange things indeed were afoot at the hellmouth.

What further complicated matters, was that they didn't have enough time to adequately prepare for the threat at hand. They only had had a week and they had spent most of it on the translation.  So the gang had opted for the crude but effective path, amassing every weapon they could get their hands on and choosing the appropriate one when the threat presented itself.  Unless of course it was one of those _no weapon forged by man deals like the Judge; in that case they would simply be screwed._

The prophecy itself had been fairly vague on what exactly was going to happen.  All it really had said was that on December 31st 1999 at about ten o'clock at night the hellmouth would open and demons would roam the Earth.  That in itself was bad news indeed.  But the gravity of the situation was compounded by the sheer amount of demons in existence and the variety of strategies needed to destroy them.

And so Buffy, Xander, Willow, Oz and Giles had to scrap their new year's eve party plans to serve the greater good.  Not that Giles had any exciting plans to begin with.  But Giles would rather have spent the night in a noisy club, surrounded by people less than half his age with wildly creative piercings in parts of their bodies were holes were not intended to be than facing down an unknown danger.  And the four kids had parties to attend, beers to drink and empty resolutions to make.

"I can't believe we're gonna ring in the new millenium fighting," Buffy complained.

"Yeah," Oz agreed.  "Tonight we should be partying like it's 1999."

"First of all it _is 1999," Xander retorted.  "And secondly: shame on you Oz.  Of all people __you had to sink to the absolute lowest and cheapest cliché of the past year?  Not to mention the most overused one."_

"You're right," Oz conceded.  "Sorry."

"And technically," Giles said hesitantly, "the new millenium doesn't start until 2001."

"Well," Willow said, "if we don't vanquish whatever is coming tonight we might never get that far anyway."

"Do we all have our new year's resolutions ready?" Xander said trying to lighten the mood, but all he got for answers was groans.

Giles checked his watch.  Nine thirty, they still had half an hour before all hell broke loose in the most literal of ways.  He had never heard of a prophecy similar to the one they were dealing with now.  Even though its description of events to come had been vague at best, from what they had been able to gather something similar to this had never been reported.  That worried Giles to no end, since it left them all out in the cold; no procedures, no rules, little preparation and what promised to be more improvisation than a free jazz marathon.

Willow had stocked up on spellcasting ingredients in the past few days and had laid out all her things in strategic order on the table.  She had all the components to cast every spell she knew and even a few that she didn't know.  Oz and Xander were armed in a rather in a rather generic manner, holding a long sword in one hand and a stake in the other.

Buffy had arranged around her every weapon ever conceived for stabbing, slashing, cutting and poking or inflicting some other kind of grievous bodily harm.  She even had a few weapons that were never conceived in such a way at all.  It all made for a rather intimidating display.  In addition Buffy was holding a crossbow for which she had a wide array of arrows.

They were armed to their teeth and ready to rumble.  Now all they had to do is wait.  And if a wayward demon from hell didn't kill them, the anticipation surely would.

They spoke very little as they waited for the time of reckoning to come.  Giles was plagued by thoughts that maybe they had missed something important that the prophecy had pointed out and that they would be powerless when faced with whatever horror was coming for them.  He already blamed himself for whatever might potentially go wrong in the future.

Finally the time they were waiting for came around.  They had moved the conference table to the front of the library to allow themselves better access to the spot where the hellmouth would open.  They were ready and at ten o'clock sharp the hellmouth opened in a quite impressive display of pyrotechnics.

The defenders of the Earth stood at the ready wielding their weapons waiting for the demonic fiends to appear.

They did not have to wait long.  Out of the hellmouth stepped a large dark gray figure that looked much like a gargoyle that had just stepped off the roof of a gothic cathedral.  It had muscular legs with talons at the end, horns and a pair of wings reminiscent of a bat.  It was carrying a large black box, which it set down when it saw the group of humans assembled in front of him.  On closer inspection Oz was surprised to find that the box the demon had been carrying looked much like a loudspeaker.

The gargoyle looked up from the speaker and gave a quick smile.  "Hey, kids," it said.  "You here for the party?"

"Yeah," Buffy scoffed getting into a defensive stance.  "We're here to party alright."

"Cool," the demon responded.  It picked up the speaker again and took a look around the library.  "You mind if we set up on the mezzanine?" it asked.

Giles was somewhat taken aback by the question.  What exactly was this demon after?  What did it want to set up and why on the mezzanine?  The open floor of the library lent itself much better to combat.  But if it wanted to fight on the mezzanine, so be it.

"No, go ahead," Giles answered morosely.

As the demon trudged off to take care of his speaker another one appeared from the hellmouth.  This one was a deep shade of red with what could be loosely described as the head of a bull.  This demon also was carrying something and that something was very keg-shaped.

"You got any ice?" the bull-headed one asked.  "I don't want this stuff getting warm."

It had been a gradual process but now the collective jaw of the valiant defenders of humanity finally hit the floor.  Something seemed odd.  Actually quite a few somethings seemed odd.  These demons didn't seem too intent on fighting or taking over the world or plunging the planet into hell or whatever other sinister objectives they were usually after.

Nobody said anything, they just stood there with their mouths agape.  The bull-headed one was getting a little impatient and his arms were tired from lugging the keg about.

"Hey," the demon said, trying to get the attention of the humans in front of him.  "You got any ice?"

They finally snapped out of it and just stared at him blankly.

"Ice?" it repeated.  "You got any?"

The human contingent shook their heads.

The red demon set the keg down and walked back to the hellmouth opening.

"Hey!" it yelled into the dimensional rift, attaching a name that required excessive skill to pronounce and was utterly impossible to spell with just twenty-six letters at one's disposal.  "We need ice!"

The demon turned back and noticed the vast array of weapons laid out on the table for the first time.

"You might wanna put those things away before the party gets going," the demon admonished them.  "Somebody could poke an eye out."

"What?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"Those weapons," the demon clarified with a slight tone of annoyance.  "Alcohol and weapons don't mix.  Put them away."  It let out a heavy sigh.  "You humans can be so reckless."

"Um, the party?" Giles stammered raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, the party," the demon said insistently.  "It's new year's eve, you know."

"Yes," Giles mumbled, "I'm aware of that.  And you're gonna have a party?  Here?"

"Yes, it was all in the prophecy.  Didn't you get it?"  The demon frowned at Giles and then looked at the kids congregated around the watcher.  "Where did you find this guy?" it asked them.

"He came with the job," Buffy answered with a shrug.

"May I suggest a broomstick-remover?" the demon said.

Xander laughed at that and was rewarded with a dirty look from Giles.

"So let me get this straight," Willow offered.  "We are going to party?"

"Like it's 1999," the demon grinned.

Xander groaned at the repeated use of one of his most hated clichés.

Xander, Oz and Giles went to work collecting the weapons and stowing them away in a safe and secret place, where they would have access to them if the need arose.  Buffy and Willow in the meantime watched over the preparations for the festivities.

The library was quite effectively transformed into a place of all things festive.  A stage was set up on the mezzanine complete with drum set, guitar and bass rigs and microphones, the checkout counter was converted into a bar, stocked with every beverage known to man, and even a few unknown to man.  The speakers were turned to the space where the table used to be, which was turned into a dance floor, complete with strobes and a smoke machine.

By ten thirty everything had been set up and was ready to go and the doors were opened to the general public.  And the public did come.  Through the library doors came a steady procession of Sunnydale's human and demonic population and, for some unknown reason, also a large number of rabbits.

When the band finally took the stage Xander was standing with Willow and Buffy by the bar.

"A toast," Xander said raising his beer and he waited for the girls to do the same.  "To our most bizarre demonic encounter to date."

"Hear hear," the girls agreed and they all drank.

"Hello Sunnydale," the lead singer of the band bellowed into the microphone eliciting a cheer from the crowd.  "Are you ready to party like it's 1999?"

The crowd's cheer drowned out Xander's pained groan.

"Is this turning into some kind of running gag?" Xander asked Willow.

"'Fraid so," the redhead nodded.

Then the band launched into Van Halen's _Running With The Devil and the official new year's bash from hell had begun._

Half an hour later the shindig was in full swing.  Willow and Oz were out on the dance floor and Xander was off to one side talking to the cute girl from his English 101 class.  Buffy and Giles were standing by the bar still wondering about what exactly was going on.  But with every beer they consumed they grew less and less worried and started enjoying themselves.

At about ten minutes to midnight the champagne glasses started circulating, so that everybody could ring in the new year in style.  The library was packed with people and so it took a little while until everybody had a glass.  A few televisions had also been brought in, no doubted they had been nicked from the nearby A/V lab, and they were turned to the channel displaying the festivities all over the globe.

The band stopped playing shortly before midnight and they announced the countdown over the microphones.

"Ten… Nine… Eight…" the lead singer counted.

Buffy, Xander, Willow, Oz and Giles were standing in the middle of all the mayhem looking at the stage and clutching their champagne glasses.

"Seven… Six… Five…" the countdown continued.

One of the local channels was broadcasting the previously taped ceremony on Times Square, showing the new legendary ball being lowered slowly while the crowd was counting down.

"Four… Three… Two… One… Zero…"

"Happy New Year," the crowd in the library cheered in unison amidst a lot of hugging, kissing, clinking of glasses and drinking.  Then the room launched into a somewhat off tune rendition on that song that everybody sings for new years but nobody knows the words to.  Not to mention that nobody knows its title either.

"No more using the phrase 'party like it's 1999,'" Xander cheered doing one of his patented happy dances.

"I'll drink to that," Giles muttered and finished glass of champagne.

Not too long later Willow and Buffy were out on the dance floor, Giles was discussing the finer points of demonology with one of the rabbits that haven't been mentioned since they first entered the party and Xander and Oz were leaning against the bar sipping on their beers.

"So," Xander said between sips, "any pointless resolutions?"

Oz considered that question for a moment or two and finally just shrugged his shoulders.  "Maybe I'll learn a fourth chord, I heard they come in handy if you want to expand the number of songs you can play."

"Aah," Xander aahed, "but wouldn't you be compromising your rebellious rocker image.  You know the kind, 'I don't need no more than three chords and a jockstrap.'"

Oz shrugged yet again.  "I guess you grow out of that.  Besides even _Every Rose Has Its Thorn has four chords.  I know cause I counted them."  Oz took a pensive sip from his brew.  "So how about you, Xander?  Any guidelines for the year at hand?"_

"Well," Xander mused, "if the writing for my character allows it I'd like to stay away from running gags.  I can't say I much care for them."

"I don't know about that," Oz pondered, "I think Random really digs them."

"Yeah, I know," Xander conceded.  "But I can hope, can't I?"

Xander's question was never answered.  Not only because it was a rhetorical question but also because Oz and Xander were suddenly whisked away by a passing conga line.

The conga line itself was quite incredibly long and was slowly making its way all around the library.

Suddenly the front doors of the library banged open and the diminutive Principal Snyder stalked in.  The principal took in the scene unfolding itself in front of him.  To say he was appalled would have been the understatement of the year (which in itself didn't really mean much because the year was less than an hour old).  Principal Snyder didn't stay appalled for too long, he quickly graduated to irate.

"Are these people consuming alcohol on school property?" he asked no one in particular.  "There is no way Sunnydale High School is going to stand for this kind of behavior.  I will have you all expell-"

The moralizing principal was quite rudely interrupted as the conga line swiftly swallowed his diminutive form never to be seen again.  Or at least not until the party was over.

Across the room, in a completely different spot along the conga line, Willow and Buffy were tugging on Giles trying to convince him to join the enormous human serpent.  Well, technically it wasn't really a human serpent since many of the participants were either demons or rabbits, but this is a detail we don't really have to bother with.

"Come on, Giles," Willow pleaded, tugging on one of Giles' arms.  "I promise you will enjoy yourself."

"Yeah," Buffy said, pulling on the watcher's other arm.  "Jump in the line, rock you body in time."

"Okay, I believe you," Giles answered, thus completing the gratuitous Harry Belafonte reference.

Within moments Giles was overpowered and he disappeared in the conga line.

The party raged on until about an hour before sunrise, the much maligned time of last call.  Most people get themselves a last beverage of their choice and then, at the lead singer's request, milled around the stage.

The lead singer surveyed the crowd in front of him and the spoke into the microphone.  "This is gonna be our last song for the night."  The audience groaned in disappointment.  "But we're gonna make this one count.  That's why I'd like to enlist everyone's help in singing the ultimate party song.  I am of course referring to the now legendary Wildhearts song _One Before The Lights Go Out."_

The audience cheered as the band launched into their last song for the night.

_It's the time of night again  
It's the old familiar feeling  
When you're staring at the ceiling  
As you spin upon the floor_

_You forgot the power of speech  
Sleep with anything in make-up  
Eat a scabby dog with ketchup  
But you still got room for more_

As the song proceeded towards the chorus every single person in the library raised their glass and rocked back and forth to the music while singing at the top of their lungs.

_We're on the one before the lights go out  
One before we're caned  
Here's a toast to being close to comatose again  
We're on the one before the lights go out  
Yes, we feel no pain  
We're on the one before the lights go out  
So get them in again  
We're on the one before the lights go out  
One before we think of nowt  
Dan's passed out  
Hey, Ritch, your shout  
We're on the one before the lights go out_

And then the lights went out.  But only for a few moments, before they came back on at full force indicating that it was time that everybody drink up and go home.  The vampire contingent was especially eager to leave since the sun would be up in soon.

As the masses shuffled out of the library the demons took to dismantling the stage and the lighting and PA systems.  A few others helped Giles and the Slayerettes clean up discarded cups and whatever else the found underfoot.  It took about an hour and a half but at the end the library was the cleanest he had ever seen it in his tenure at Sunnydale High.

Finally the demons disappeared just as mysteriously as they had appeared and the hellmouth sealed itself shut behind them.

The Salyerettes sat on the stairs leading up to the stacks exhausted by the long night of fun.

"Man," Xander said.  "Do those guys know how to throw a party or what?"

"What should we do about Snyder?" Buffy asked.

The looked over at the principal who was passed out face down in the corner of the room.

"I think it's best if we just let him sleep it off," Giles answered with a shrug.

"I think that's what we should all do," Buffy suggested.

There was a round of nods from everybody as they got up and stumbled towards the door.  They bumped into each other quite a bit as none of them was able to walk in a straight line.  It would be an interesting walk home, but not half as interesting as the preceding night.

***

THE END


End file.
